The last time I wrote, I was deep in a job search spiral—constant rejections, self-doubt, and several family medical emergencies happening all at once. After weeks of hearing “no,” I finally found a job.
I was ecstatic.
For the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of self-worth.
Maybe I wasn’t completely useless after all.
It wasn’t the best offer.
It wasn’t the jump I had hoped for.
But something felt better than nothing.
When Your Win Doesn’t Feel Like a Win to Others
I told people—friends, family—expecting relief, maybe even happiness.
Instead, I heard:
- “This isn’t great.”
- “You can do better.”
- “Why settle?”
- “Keep searching.”
Despite the noise, I had already decided to resign. I needed a change.
At my current job, I had a real opportunity: form a new team, take charge, shape it the way I wanted. It was tempting. For weeks, I went back and forth with my manager, director, and colleagues.
Should I stay?
Should I leave?
In the end, I decided I needed change—and I needed to leave.
More Interviews, More Rejections, One More Hope
Even though I was satisfied with the offer, everyone’s opinions echoed in my head. So I kept searching.
That led to more interviews.
More rejections.
More mental breakdowns.
And then—finally—I landed another job.
This one felt right.
It was closer to home.
No more four hours of daily travel.
A role I genuinely wanted.
I was over the moon.
The Mistake I Made: Celebrating Too Early
I made a critical mistake.
Before the offer was officially formalized, I told everyone—especially the people who had criticized the first offer.
I celebrated prematurely.
Weeks passed.
The offer still hasn’t come through.
HR kept assuring me it was “definite.”
I was told I’d get it before the holidays.
I canceled all my other interviews.
I trusted them.
I trusted my fate.
Waiting, Anxiety, and Losing Control
I didn’t want to attend more interviews.
I didn’t want more rejections.
I didn’t want to feel like a failure again.
I’m not very religious, but desperation does things to you.
I prayed.
I went to temples.
I asked my parents to pray with me.
I asked my closest friends to pray for me.
Now the holidays are here.
No offer.
No update.
No background verification clearance for the previous job either.
I have less than two weeks left in my notice period—most of it during holidays.
I’m terrified.
Will I even have a job in the new year?
Honestly?
I don’t know.
The Toll Job Uncertainty Takes on Mental and Physical Health
This uncertainty has taken a brutal toll.
- Frequent panic attacks
- Kidney stones
- Inability to concentrate at work
- Constant anxiety
Will I make it?
Right now, I don’t have an answer.
What This Job Search Taught Me
But I did learn something important.
A few months ago, attending interviews felt impossible.
I couldn’t even imagine it.
Yet here I am.
I took tiny steps—and I showed up.
I should celebrate that.
I did land a job.
I was told I was selected for two roles.
Whether I can join them or not is still uncertain—but that doesn’t erase the fact that I was chosen.
I may not be the best.
I may not even be good.
But I am not useless.
Move in Silence: A Lesson I Didn’t Believe Until Now
There’s one lesson I learned the hard way—something I once dismissed as superstition.
Until it’s locked in.
Until it’s signed.
Until it’s real.
Keep it to yourself.
Move in silence.
Jealousy.
Evil eye.
Negative energy.
Maybe they exist. Maybe they don’t.
But premature celebration definitely leads to heartbreak.
Celebrate small wins—but be careful who you celebrate with.
Celebrate fully—but only when it has truly materialized.
To Anyone Reading This
Celebrate your wins—small or big.
Choose your circle wisely.
Be patient.
Let things fall into place completely.
And when they finally do—
Celebrate them without fear, without doubt, and without giving anything the chance to go wrong.
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